four days! three days? i certainly didn’t intend to skip any days of writing, let alone three-maybe-four. is it three? 25th, 26th, 27th. three! oof.
i’ve been feeling rundown & overwhelmed, & those two feelings tend to feed off of one another in me. more work means more exhaustion, being tired means feeling more stressed & desperate, more stress means everything hurts more, etc. boyfriend helped me take some lloyd dobbler advice, though, & “just get in a good mood.” he was nicer. he said, “put your all into everything you do today.” & it worked. i mean, it helps that i love my job, but two classes later, i felt better – physically & mentally – than i had all week. that same night, for parent-teacher conferences, i forewent the offer of a student translator & spoke Spanish with the parents who came alone. they were all encouraging & grateful, & complimented my skills (or at least my efforts). it felt good. i felt connected & involved, the way climbing a mountain makes me feel like part of the world. so often when i’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed or sick, i turn inward & make myself lonely. i forget how valuable it is to connect. the work is still there, the time is still short, my back still aches in the most annoying spot. but i can shift my perspective a bit, reevaluate my priorities. the road before me smooths out, just enough.